Why Bad SEO Copy Keeps You Off Google (And Makes You Look Ridiculous)

Bad SEO copy: Google ignores it. And if anyone does find it? So will they.

And yet… it’s everywhere.

Somewhere along the way, businesses got the idea that the secret to SEO success was shoving keywords into their content like a clown stuffing themselves into a tiny car. The result? Copy that’s unreadable, unclickable, and, most importantly, unrankable.

Here’s the truth: Google’s clever enough to know when you’re writing for people. And people are clever enough to know when you’re writing for Google.

Real-life SEO crimes (yes, these actually happened)

Here are some truly awful examples of SEO currently out in the wild.

Exhibit A: The Repeat Offender

“Toilet repair services are essential for maintaining your toilet. Our toilet repair services ensure your toilet functions properly. Contact us for toilet repair services.”

Even if this nonsense somehow clawed its way onto page one of Google (spoiler: it wouldn’t - Google’s far too smart), would you click on it? No. Because there’s zero benefit. No reason to care. No 'what’s in it for me'. Just the same phrase repeated three times like a bad knock-knock joke.

Exhibit B: The Total Nonsense

“Our cheap flight deals cheap flight deals are the cheap flight deals you need for cheap flights.”

Honestly? I need a lie down.

Keyword stuffing hasn’t worked since the early 2000s, and yet, here we are. If you’re writing copy like this, your audience isn’t just ignoring you - they’re actively backing away in horror.

Exhibit C: The Jargon Crime Scene

“Our innovative synergy solutions leverage cutting-edge paradigms to optimise your ROI.”

Translation: We’re hoping jargon will distract you from the fact we have nothing to say.

If your copy sounds like it was written by a corporate buzzword generator, it’s time to change.

How to stop sabotaging your SEO copy

If you’re committing any of these SEO sins, here’s what to do instead:

1. Write for humans first, SEO second. Keywords should fit naturally into the copy, not be shoehorned in.

   
   

2. Provide actual value. If your page doesn’t answer a question, solve a problem, or offer something useful, it won’t rank (and even if it does, no one will care).

   
   

3. Ditch the fluff and jargon. Say what you mean. Plain English is not your enemy.

   
   

4. Make it interesting. If you wouldn’t want to read your content, why should anyone else?

   
   

The best SEO strategy?

Write content worth reading. Then, and only then, polish it with smart SEO.

Because clever copy will win every time.